A wise man once told me to dare to be average. Honestly, I was shocked. Never, in my whole life, had I been told that it was okay to be average. My parents wanted (and still do want) the best for me and I felt that as an only child, it was my responsibility to deliver that. I know my own mind. I am a strong person. I am not easily swayed. I am stubborn and straightforward. I am also a people pleaser.

Nothing terrifies me more than the thought of doing something wrong. The thought of striving for adequacy is foreign. But the wise man was right. Adequacy is all we can expect of ourselves. Anything more is a bonus. When we put our ideal selves on a pedestal, we are striving for something that does not exist, and then depression appears when we understandably don’t reach the unattainable.

I have finally realised that the reason I disappoint myself as often as I do is not because of my actions, but because of my choices. It seems a small distinction, but it’s an important one. I disappoint myself not because of what I do, but because of the importance I put into what I think. I do not ever celebrate having made a good choice, just the outcome. I ate well? Great, now I’ll be thinner. I stayed late at my job? Now I won’t get into trouble. Often, however, this means that if I make a wrong step, I berate myself. It’s not ‘You should think about fuelling your body rather than giving in to cravings,’ it’s ‘Now you’re going to put on even more weight.’

I am in a job where communication is everything. I am kind to the people around me, but not myself. Why? I have decided that the only way to combat this is to write down my experience, and, on a more personal note, acknowledge the things I do well. I am going to work on making a list of the good and bad choices I have made throughout the day.

I may as well get started.

Good choices

– Didn’t choose a fast food meal, but a microwave meal instead
– Went to work
– Offered advice to a colleague
– Met with a friend after work
– Stayed calm in traffic
– Controlled my temper
– Had intrusive thoughts but told them “not today”

Bad choices

– Said some things I shouldn’t have
– Made a lazy decision to avoid work
– Chose a microwave meal over fresh food

Turns out I’m not all bad. How about you?

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

• Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
• Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

• Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
• What topics do you think you’ll write about?
• Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
• If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.